This is my story - 69 (Hong Kong/Taiwan)

69 – Painful parting with Poh Chin

One evening after office my wife went to one of the Corps (church) on Hong Kong Island to conduct a Home League meeting. Most Home League meetings were held in the evenings to cater for women who went out to work in the day time.

As usual on the way home from office I picked up Poh Chin from our Salvation Army Lai King Home where she received after-school care. I sat her on the front seat beside me, put the seat belt on her and drove off.  Half way on our journey she was sick and vomited in the car.  By the time we arrived home, she was fast asleep and I had a big struggle in lifting her up and taking her indoors. Eventually I managed to carry her to the bathroom, cleaned her, then to her room and put her to bed. I was exhausted.

Afterwards I spent considerable time cleaning up the mess in the car. By the time I finished it was about 11.00 p.m. I entrusted Poh Chin into God’s hands and walked down the hill to the main road to meet my wife. Our Alsatian dog, Rex accompanied me all the time at the foot of the hill till my wife returned home almost mid-night. She had to take public transport of course.

During the same week we visited the Home of Loving Faithfulness, a Home for mentally handicapped children, lovingly cared for by some very dedicated European missionaries. Before we first left Singapore for Hong Kong Major Moira Wright had tried to get a place for Poh Chin, but our application was rejected because the administration felt The Salvation Army should look after its own folk. However, Poh Chin did not qualify for the Army Lai King Home either!

Poh Chin was nearly 19 too old for the Day Care Centre, but too severely handicapped to function at a Sheltered Workshop. The committee was very kind to let her stay on till we could find her a place elsewhere. We had already been in Hong Kong five years and there were hints that we might get a change of appointment. I shared the news with our good friend Lieut. Colonel Moira Wright, who was then the Officer Commanding of the Singapore/Malaysia Command. I also happened to mention my traumatic episode with Poh Chin.

Soon after, she replied with the suggestion that we send Poh Chin to Singapore Lee Kuo Chuan Home for the Aged at Upper Bukit Timah. In her letter she mentioned that Poh Chin’s needs were similar to the elderly ladies needing full time care and attention. This was news that surprised us and after some discussion we decided to take up the offer. The idea was certainly the Lord’s given through Lieut. Colonel Moira Wright. (She was promoted to Glory on 7^th March 2012)

I was very busy preparing for the SPEACO (South Pacific and East Asia College for officers) having already been involved in two previous sessions – in Singapore and Hong Kong. The appointment came from International Headquarters - to be principal of the college at Jakarta.

Lieut. Colonel Wright suggested that we take Poh Chin to Singapore on my way to Jakarta. My wife could stay with the two older children but Poh Chin would go straight to the Home. During the time I was in Indonesia, my wife could visit Poh Chin daily. Then at the conclusion of the College, I would call at Singapore before returning to Hong Kong.

We sought confirmation of God’s will in this arrangement. First we sent the proposal to the International Secretary, Commissioner Robert Bath. The response was positive. Then we booked the tickets and there were three seats left on the plane! Obviously God had a hand in all the arrangements.

So on 3^rd May, the three of us left Hong Kong for Singapore. We put Poh Chin in the Home and my wife stayed with the two older children. I left the next morning for Jakarta and conducted SPEACO.  The Education Officer appointed to assist me was Major Graham Durstan a very godly man who carried a big load of responsibility in teaching the delegates. Major Roy Frans the Public Relations Secretary of Indonesia was excellent in seeing to the logistics. Among the delegates from Singapore were Mrs. Captain Grace Lim (wife of Lim Teck Fung) Mrs. Captain Esther Rengasamy, and Mrs. Captain Wendy Lee. From New Zealand was Mrs. Major Grace Bringans.

SPEACO ended on 28^th May and on arrival in Singapore my wife and I went to the Home to bid farewell to Poh Chin. It was a painful moment parting with her. We felt a sense of guilt leaving her behind but it was for the best interests of all.  She did not know how to protest neither could she wave us good bye. We had no way of understanding what went on in her mind.

Now for the first time, we were on our own without any children.  Empty-nest syndrome is the name given to the psychological condition that can affect parents when their children leave home. Naturally there was that pain and sadness, but this was something we had to accept. Our three children did not leave us. We left them – the two older ones in January 1983 when we took up our appointment in Hong Kong and now five years later we parted with the youngest child Poh Chin.

We thank God for the days when we had the children with us and now we learn to celebrate the empty nest! No worries, there was plenty to fill our days in busy Hong Kong and Taiwan.

Now our Poh Chin is in The Salvation Army Peacehaven Nursing Home receiving tender loving care from the staff and nurses. The Lord is certainly the wonderful Provider and we are eternally grateful.  ^“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 19. To God be the glory.