Being Candid

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love. The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend" Proverbs 27: 5-6

Open rebuke can wound and hurt, but the wounds caused by a true friend can be trusted. It hurts you and it hurts the friend who administers the rebuke. That hurt will not harm you. We need to distinguish between hurt and harm. Kisses from an enemy will not hurt, but they harm. Think of the kiss of Judas.

We all have blind spots. The person who says he has not got any certainly has at least one. It takes a true friend to point out to us. A true friend makes it his business to point out a blind spot - a weakness which we are not able to see ourselves.

Let us be candid with each other. When I am heading for the wrong direction and someone points it out to me I ought to be grateful. Let us be thankful to the one who takes the time and makes the effort to help us."An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." Proverbs 24: 26

Let us look at some of the principles for rebuking a friend.
Compliment in public, but correct in private. If we want to lose a friend real quick,correct in public. Let us not rebuke a friend until we have proven we are open to rebuke from him or her. Criticism should be a two way street. A true friend tells you your fault because he loves you, not because he has anything to gain by giving you the rebuke. The motive is love. That's the kind of friendship that should exist between married couples.

Look at the timing. We want to be candid or frank, but there is a time for this. Rebuke when he is up, not when he is down, when he is feeling good, not when he is feeling bad. When a person is overwhelmed with problems, troubles in the office, in the family that is not the time to criticise. Administer rebuke at the right time. There is a time for comfort, there is a time for criticism.

We all need someone who has the freedom to speak frankly with us when we have made a mistake. We need someone whom we can pour our hearts out after we have made a mistake or committed some sin. If we have such a friend, you are indeed blessed, if not we are heading for trouble.

So here's a message to married couples - be good friends with each other. Here's a message to those who are dating - develop this type of friendship.

The best friend I have is Jesus. I go to Him everyday and seek His help.

"What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry
Everything to Him in prayer."